People

As a waitress, I meet a lot of interesting people.

I've met several famous people including some actor from "The Bill" which probably would have been way more awesome if I actually knew what "The Bill" was...

I've bumped into teachers, including my English teacher who was on maternity leave, and I'm not sure if she'd had anything to drink, but she didn't leave without announcing very loudly that she'd cry if I didn't get an A* on my English GCSE. She'd had me since year 8 and she's always been my favorite teacher who gave me tips to improve my writing and she's been really supportive, so I can understand her point. I'd probably cry, too, in her situation.

But you also get the weirdest people in the world.

A few weeks ago, an older man asked me for organic sugar and I told him we had Truvia. That's the one with the Chitty Chitty Bang Bang advert, with the "Truly Scrumptious" tune. Just in case you didn't know and needed to know what it was. He then starts telling me about how sweeteners have a chemical in that gives people cancer and goes on and on and on about how dangerous so many foods are, containing elements that are harmful. I stand there quietly nodding, making sounds of agreement. Like you do in those awkward situations where you have nothing to input in a conversation. As he's leaving he asks my boss for an address to the cafe so he can send me some documents that he had that were more informational on the topic. After they'd gone, my boss teased me to no end about me ability to pick up old men.

Scccccooooreeeee to the fringe-midget.

The most awkward was definitely my trial shift at the restaurant I work at currently. I've worked at two previously, and just am employed on an emergency lack of staff back-up at both establishments. I also work at a cafe one day a week which is great fun.

No, this trial shift was pretty awkward. The worst thing you want to happen is for someone you know to walk in. But they did. A guy who gets my bus. He's two years younger than myself but acts older so sometimes, if he sits near myself and my bus-buddy, we talk. He walked in and I was there like "oh fuck". He was there like "oh heeeeeeeeeey!" The awkward tension made it pretty obvious we knew each other and I ended up getting interrogated by his granddad. Awkwardddddd.

The best one though happened to be last week. My third shift at this place (I just got home from my fifth). I'm surveying the restaurant to make sure everything's ay-okay, and my cousins walk in. My. Fucking. Cousins. A guy and a girl, in their twenties. As you know, my resting bitch face already looks terrified, add the entrance of my deranged family members to my establishment of work where I act all professional, I was shitting myself. So my male cousin walks straight up to me and I'm silently praying "Don't say anything don't say anything don't say anything". He looks confused, laughs slightly and goes "watchoo looking so worried for, love?" And I'm there like YES HE'S PRETENDING HE DOESN'T KNOW ME! I was so relieved!

Then my girl cousin pipes up, "Oh, hey Robyn!" (I realised my name is published on here anyway so deal with my full name). And I was like oh dear. Then the guy cousin goes "wait, you know this girl??" My girl cousin was like "Yes, she's our cousin!" It took half an hour to explain the birds and the bees to him, as well as convincing him yes, I had been at all the family events, but eventually he got there, and in his drunken state proclaimed us long-lost cousins, and welcomed me to the family I had been a part of pretty much as long as I could remember. I got lots of apologies, hugs, and selfies which ended up on Facebook. I sold my soul to the Devil and willed him to take me to Hell right there and then, I was so embarrassed.

Tonight, I ended up speaking a lot of French, having been to boarding school over there. It wasn't all that interesting, just a lot of people were surprised seeing as I sound so POSH apparently.

Like, seriously. My friends like to make me say the word "roller" because apparently I sound like the Queen when I say it. I have no idea whether to be flattered or offended.....

And customers can be so annoying! One place I worked, it was just one simple warehouse-like room with tables scattered around. It was the 4 year anniversary and it was busy as it was a special night. There was a band and people were joined arms dancing. I was there carrying huge ceramic insanely heavy plates and people were just waltzing around and nearly knocking me off of my feet.

I may be small but I'm not that small. People can just be so oblivious.

In all honesty, I love my jobs. My favourite parts are meeting the dogs that get brought in and giving them a gravy bone which we keep on top of the microwave (and I can't get down by myself). If you go on Tripadvisor for the cafe, one review mentions a waitress who was attentive and talked to their dog.

Me. It was me. Don't judge, okay?
But apparently I'm getting nine red setters (in-joke, folks).

But there are people who are so hard to please and just complain. You get the babycino and macchiato people who just have to be difficult. Then you just get the interesting and odd characters. I love it.